Home-School Co-Education | Reading Together
The International Division
Parent Reading Club & Parent-Child Communication Workshop
盛夏蝉鸣，绿荫渐浓。暑假，是孩子们最期待的快乐时光，也是亲子相处最珍贵的黄金期。当课业的压力暂时褪去，朝夕相处的日子里，您是否发现：越是亲密的相处，越需要智慧的沟通？一句温暖的理解，可能让孩子敞开心扉；一次用心的倾听，或许会收获意想不到的成长惊喜。在这个充满可能的假期里，如何让亲子时光成为彼此滋养的美好记忆？这正是国际部在春学期末特别举办"亲子沟通"主题家校讲座的初衷。为助力家长与孩子建立更紧密的心灵联结，我们特别回顾春学期末“亲子沟通”主题读书会的精彩内容，与家长们共探亲子教育之道与术，为这个暑假的亲子相处注入新的思考与能量。
The summer cicadas sing as the shade deepens beneath lush greenery. Summer vacation—a time most eagerly anticipated by children, and a golden opportunity for precious parent-child bonding. With academic pressures temporarily set aside, have you noticed during these days of constant togetherness that the closer we are, the more wisdom our communication requires? A single understanding word may open a child's heart; an attentive listen might yield unexpected growth. How can we transform these holiday moments into mutually nourishing memories?
This was precisely the purpose behind the International Division's special "Parent-Child Communication" seminar held at the end of the spring semester. To help parents and children build stronger emotional connections, we revisit the highlights of this enlightening reading club, exploring both the principles and techniques of parenting to infuse new energy and reflection into summer interactions.
2025年6月，国际部特别邀请帆书（原樊登读书）签约讲师、资深沟通专家张嫣君老师，为家长们带来一场启迪心灵的读书会。活动共读的经典著作《如何说孩子才会听，如何听孩子才肯说》，由美国教育专家阿黛尔·法伯与伊莱恩·玛兹丽施合著，自1980年问世以来，以其深厚的心理学底蕴与实用的沟通技巧风靡全球，被译为30余种语言，销量超千万册，更被《Parents》杂志誉为"20世纪最具影响力的十大育儿书之一"，长期稳居亚马逊"亲子教育类"图书排行榜前十名。
In June 2025, the International Division invited Zhang Yanjun, a certified communication expert and lecturer from Fanbook (formerly Fan Deng Reading), to lead an inspiring book club session. The selected classic, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by American parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, has captivated global audiences since its 1980 debut. With its profound psychological insights and practical techniques, the book has been translated into over 30 languages. It has sold millions of copies, and was named by Parents magazine as one of the "Top 10 Most Influential Parenting Books of the 20th Century," consistently ranking in Amazon's top 10 parenting guides.
在2个小时的沉浸式共读活动中，张嫣君老师带领家长们深入剖析书中的精髓章节，将"倾听"与"表达"这两大沟通艺术具象化。通过生动的生活案例，老师诠释了如何用"描述式赞美"代替笼统夸奖，如何以"有限选择"化解亲子对峙——这些看似简单的技巧背后，是对孩子心理需求的深刻洞察。活动特别设置了分年级共读讨论环节，一年级组阅读分享"看见孩子情绪"的技巧，二三年级则分享惩罚和赞赏的策略及技巧，四五年级组分享“如何鼓励孩子们和我们合作”。不同年龄段的家长在交流中发现：原来那些让自己困扰的育儿难题，竟能在彼此的智慧碰撞中找到共鸣及突破口。
During the two-hour immersive session, Ms. Zhang guided parents through the book's core chapters, bringing the arts of "listening" and "expressing" to life. Through vivid real-life examples, she demonstrated how "descriptive praise" outperforms generic compliments and how "limited choices" can defuse standoffs—simple yet profound techniques rooted in understanding children's psychological needs. The event featured grade-level breakout discussions: Grade 1 parents explored "acknowledging emotions," Grades 2–3 shared strategies on discipline and praise, while Grade 4 focused on "encouraging cooperation." Many discovered that their parenting challenges found resonance and solutions in collective wisdom.
张老师更针对现场家长的即时反馈，延伸出许多实用技巧：
l "四级倾听"法则，让家长们从敷衍式回应到共情式倾听，每个层级都在重塑亲子关系；
l "我句式"魔法：教孩子用"我感到…因为…"表达情绪，避免指责式沟通。
l 55387沟通定律：55%的视觉印象+38%的语音语调+7%的语言内容，提醒家长身教的意义远重于言传。当家长蹲下平视说话，用温和语调，即使同样的语言内容“该做作业了”，效果也截然不同。
l 拥抱的力量：一个及时的拥抱，往往比千言万语更能化解冲突。
Ms. Zhang also tailored practical tools to parents' real-time feedback:
l The "Four Levels of Listening" transformed perfunctory responses into empathetic engagement, rebuilding relationships layer by layer.
l "I-Statement" Magic: Teaching children to say "I feel… because…" to express emotions without blame.
l The 55/38/7 Communication Rule: 55% visual (posture/eye contact), 38% vocal (tone), and 7% verbal content—proving how we speak matters more than what. A simple "Time for homework" lands differently when delivered at eye level with a gentle tone.
l The Power of Hugs: A timely embrace often resolves conflicts better than words.
当老师提到"孩子需要鼓励就像植物需要水"时，现场家长会心一笑；而分享孩子行为的"四个错误目的"理论（寻求关注、权力斗争、报复、自暴自弃）时，又引发家长阵阵恍然大悟的感慨。二个小时的活动在笑声与思考中飞逝，很多家长迟迟不愿离场，继续围着老师探讨个性化问题。正如老师总结的那样："最好的教育，是让孩子从我们的眼睛里看见他自己的价值。"
When Ms. Zhang noted, "Children need encouragement like plants need water," parents nodded in recognition. Her analysis of the "Four Mistaken Goals" (Seeking Undue Attention, Power Struggle, Revenge, and Assumed Inadequacy/Give-Up) sparked revelations. As the session closed, many lingered to seek personalized advice, embodying her closing insight: "The greatest education is letting children see their own worth in our eyes."
张老师现场演示了部分书中的经典工具，如：
l 感受命名法"比赛失败了，你一定很沮丧"；
l 合作邀请术："我们需要在八点前完成作业，你希望先做数学还是语文？"；
l 成长型赞赏："你刚才自己整理了书桌，这就是负责任的表现"等。
l 特别让人动容的是"撕标签"环节——当老师引导家长重新描述"我家孩子太磨蹭"为"他在学习时间管理"，多位家长动容。正如书中所说："当孩子从角色中释放，才能遇见真正的自己。"
Live demonstrations brought the book’s tools to life:
l Naming Feelings: "You must feel disappointed about the game loss."
l Inviting Cooperation: "We need to finish homework by 8—would you prefer math or Chinese first?"
l Growth Praise: "You organized your desk—that’s responsibility!"
l The "Label-Shedding" exercise moved many, as parents rephrased "My child is so slow" to "He’s learning time management." As the book teaches, "Only when freed from roles can children meet their true selves."
这次充满智慧的读书会，不仅是一次亲子沟通方法的学习，更展现了国际部家长群体对自我成长的孜孜追求。正如教育家苏霍姆林斯基所说："教育的效果取决于学校和家庭的教育影响的一致性。"这句充满智慧的教育箴言，正是我们举办此次家长读书会的初心与期许。家长们的每一次学习与反思，都在为孩子铺设更健康的成长基石。在教育的漫漫长路上，家庭与学校如同车之两轮、鸟之双翼，唯有同频共振，方能托举孩子飞向更广阔的天空。
This reading club was more than a communication workshop. It reflected our parents’ dedication to growth. As educator Sukhomlinsky observed, "Education’s success depends on alignment between school and family." Each lesson parents learn lays healthier foundations for their children’s growth. On this journey, home and school are two wheels of a cart or wings of a bird but only in sync can they lift children toward boundless skies.
为帮助家长们更好地理解与学习，校家委特别用心提炼书本精华编辑成长达15页的《亲子沟通读书会观点摘要》。家委会始终致力于搭建家校沟通的暖心桥梁及营造互助共进的家校氛围。我们期待与您携手，在教育的道路上同行。让我们以智慧的爱，共同守护每一株幼苗的茁壮成长！教育是一场温暖的修行，而最好的教育，永远始于理解与沟通。期待下次活动，与家长们再续这段成长之旅！
To support ongoing learning, the School Parent Committee distilled the book’s essence into a 15-page Key Takeaways Guide. Committed to bridging home and school, we foster collaborative communities and share valuable resources. Let’s walk this path together, nurturing each seedling with wisdom and love. Education is a warm pilgrimage, and its finest form begins with understanding and communication. We look forward to continuing this journey with you at our next event!
